Sunday, October 11, 2009

better today

So yesterday was probably my hardest day in Africa, emotionally speaking. But the storm passed, as it always does, and I woke up today feeling strong. I started reading my journal, and I found what I had written on October 6th, the day before I was evacuated to Mali. I was surprised with my own wisdom. Sometimes it's like that. Present Jess says thanks to past Jess for doing something or writing something helpful. So thanks, past Jess. Present Jess will keep working to make it better for a future Jess! So here is what I wrote the other day:

October 6, 2009
I am not attached to any particular outcome. I will go to Mali tomorrow, remembering that I am peace, patience and love. I will accept the present moment and love the present moment. I will take care of myself and be a comfort to others.
I opened Conversations with God, and found this today: "But judge not, and neither condemn, for you know not why a thing occurs, nor to what end. And remember this: that which you condemn will condemn you, and that which you judge, you will one day become. Rather, seek to change those things-- or support others who are changing those things-- which no longer reflect your highest sense of Who You Are. Yet bless all-- for it is the creation of God, through life living, and that is the highest creation."
This applies to my current situation because I was struggling to understand the violence in Conakry, the evacuation, and everything else in my life. I am now making a conscious effort not to judge it, only to help and or change the situations that I can change.

On my last night in Timbo, I sat on my porch alone in the dark. The stars were bright and infinite. The best view of the stars I've ever seen. I am that, I thought. I am the infinite sky and the bright stars and also the fireflies that sometimes look like shooting stars, but they are here on Earth.

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