more photos

As promised, here are some newer photos: my new sandals/pedicure, a giant avocado, and some photos of our grupo de jóvenes.

yo soy gringa

I spent some time this past weekend looking over the pages of my journal-- I went back two years and I was surprised at a few things:
1. I am a decent writer-- I was enchanted at my own spurts of creativity with language. Of course some entries are boring rants, but they are interspersed with insightful anecdotes and poetry.
2. I have created goals for myself and I have achieved or am currently acheiving them! I envisioned what I wanted my life to look like, and so far, it has manifested itself accordingly*(see below)
3. I have grown and blossomed in so many ways. I have been to so many places and seen so many things.

I thanked past Jessica for writing all these things for present Jessica to read. There were things that I might have otherwise forgotten. There were sour memories and happy memories and helpful insights in times of sorrow.
I read about Tucson and Phoenix and Africa. About past boyfriends and friends and triumphs and worries. Many of them seem so small and distant now, but I have learned from all of them.
A year ago at this time, I was in Guinea, almost finished with my Peace Corps training. It was Ramadan and I was exhausted, teaching summer school. At the time, I was reading this wonderful gem of a book called Be Free Where You Are by Thich Nhat Hanh. I borrowed this book from my fellow trainee, Jake. I copied long passages of this book into my journal, and I found it comforting all over again. He talks about living peacefully and doing things mindfully. He talks about smiling at oneself and using mindfulness to deal with anger. I would recommend this book to anyone!

In other news, I traveled to a larger town this weekend with my host sister. We went to an artisan's market where I bought some new leather sandals (picture coming soon) and a much-needed pedicure. My toenails are still damaged from my Grand Canyon hike back in February, and the lady giving the pedicure was really hurting me. I was actually crying, and my sister called me la llorona! Later, I went to church with my host mom. It was the first time I've been to church in about ten years. It was a Baptist-type church, and the service was similar to services I used to attend when I was younger and religious. There were some songs and some clapping, a few prayers for some sick people, and a sermon. I was impressed with myself because I understood almost all of the sermon in Spanish!
Even though I'm not religious (mostly spiritual in a yogic way), it was a good experience, both culturally and socially. I got to meet more people in my community. And it was some good quality time with my host mom. She is wonderful.
During the sermon, there were two butterflies chasing each other in aerial circles around the church in some kind of mating ritual. It was a lovely dance.

Oh yeah, and I was sick last week on Friday. I spent the day in bed after doing the required poo test. Ew! No parasites... I guess it was my stomach adjusting to the food. I drank my rehydration salts and slept a lot and felt much better by Saturday afternoon.
I also bought a sim card for my phone and now have a Nica number. For those of you who want to call, please email me and I will give you the number if you don't have it already.
For now I have to go and plan my English lesson for my grupo de jóvenes tomorrow. Pictures coming soon...
Peace and love!


*in addition to manifesting my conscious goals, I realized that I have also manifested certain unconscious attitudes and concepts I've had, which haven't necessarily been positive. For example, if I thought that men were flaky and untrustworthy, that would be the experience that would manifest itself in my life. Because I expect them to be a certain way, that is the experience that I would subconsciously create for myself. To correct this, I have made a new list of how I'd like my life to look. I was careful to make this list positive and to re-think the way I look at people and myself. Since I would like to see more integrity and responsibility in other people, I must have more integrity and responsibility in my own life. It's like Ghandi says: "Be the change you want to see in the world." Then your world will begin to change. The proof is in my journal, and in my life. (And in the pudding! Hahah.)

fiestas patronales

Hola amigos! This week is the celebration of the "fiestas patronales" in Nicaragua. September 14th and 15th are important historical dates here for the country's independence, so there should be a lot of interesting activities going on in my community, like parades and stuff. The schools don't have classes this week and most people have Tuesday and Wednesday off. This, of course, does not include Peace Corps. We have tomorrow off, but Wednesday we'll be back in business, baby. And training is just about to get real.
Next week I'll be observing, and possibly co-teaching my first class in the secondary school. This week we have 2 meetings with the grupo de jóvenes that we formed in the community. We will also have to travel to a larger town on Friday and Saturday to meet with all the TEFLers and learn all about malaria and dengue fever (yaaay) and talk more about our future jobs as English professors in Nicaragua.
On a lighter note, tomorrow I'll be visiting the "Laguna de Apoyo" to do some swimming. Then I'll probably take the rest of the day to do some required reading and some leisurely reading and probably some yoga.
I am loving it here-- loving my family and loving my neighborhood. I love you all, too!

algunas fotos

training in Nicaragua

I really like it here. It's very beautiful and the people are cool. Hearing Spanish all the time is very tiring because I'm constantly trying to process what's going on. When people talk slowly, I understand most everything, but when they talk all slangy and fast, I understand maybe 50 to 75 percent. I am opening my mind, like a child, and letting it all in. In a few months, I'll be fluent. Mark my words!
My host family is really nice. I am very lucky to be in their home. The mom is a great cook and she is sensitive to my preferences, like no bread and very little rice. She washes my clothes for me, which is also awesome. Her kids are mostly adults, except at teen girl, who is also very cool. They have a bunch of dogs and I love them... a big German shepherd who watches over the yard and a smaller mutt named Junior who loves to be pet. There are a couple more violent perros, too, and they're enclosed in their own little area.
Our home has electricity most of the time, but sometimes it goes off because of the incredibly violent storms. We don't have running water, so I have to force flush the toilet and take bucket baths, like in Africa.
There was a really crazy storm the other night, my first night in the house, and it scared me a little. The rain pounded on the corrugated tin roof and woke me up. The thunder shook the ground. And even though my room has no windows, I could see the flashes of lightning... the electricity went out for the next 8 hours or so.
During the day I have about 6 hours of intense Spanish courses, and it's tiring but my language facilitator is awesome. She always gives us time to process what's going on and she teaches us relevant Nica slang.
One thing that really confuses me is the use of "vos" instead of "tú". This is tough because none of my grammar books conjugate this verb for me, so I can understand it but I can't use it yet. I use tú for now and they get it...
Okay well I'm off to the casa for una siesta.
Love you all... and even though I have internet access, I'll appreciate letters!

yo

I'm in Nicaragua and it's awesome. I'm moving in with my host fam tomorrow to start PST (la segunda vez). Wish me luck. I'll blog when I can.
So far it reminds me a lot of Guinea but of course it's very different and new. It's rainy and green, and in some ways it reminds me of Mexico as well. The Spanish is different and harder to understand.
I am open and ready. Let's do this!

crazy vivid dreams and packing boxes

The mind tends to create strangely vivid dreams when a person travels, or even when a person is about to travel. Some of the most interesting dreams I can remember, I've dreamt in France or Africa, or right before coming or going to either one. Maybe it's the mind trying to make sense of life's changes. Maybe it's the mind trying to cope with subconscious fear of these changes.
Why fear? Why do our minds tend to resist change in all its inevitability?
Lately I've been having half-Spanish apocalyptic dreams. Subconsciously, perhaps, I'm trying to deal with the fact that I know that in about 16 days, my life is about to change in a big way and I don't know what it will look like.
Since I've come back from West Africa, I have settled into a pretty comfortable existence, even though I knew it'd be temporary, only until my next assignment. I created a routine that probably made my subconscious mind feel secure and safe and now I'm throwing myself back out of this comfort zone, into the vast unknown world. I'm doing it on purpose, yet a part of me resists.
Sorry subconscious mind, but I'm sure it's all for the best...

I've been packing my things for Nicaragua and getting rid of things I don't need. I'm storing some of my stuff in boxes in Joy's garage. I am labeling and organizing, which makes me feel calm. When I left for Guinea, it was all in a frenzy and I sort of threw my stuff together without rhyme or reason.
This time around, I feel like I have a better idea of what I'll need and what I won't. I also have a better idea of what I'd like to come home to in 2 years: not chaos! When I was evacuated from Guinea, I came home to a few boxes of things thrown together, many of which I had no immediate use for. This time I know what I'll want when I come back. Things that will comfort me in the re-adjustment process: sweatpants, Snuggies, running shoes, old t-shirts, photos, books and journals.
Every time I travel, I get better at it ;)
This time, I'm definitely bringing my yoga mat.